Special Needs Parents, Accept The Life You Have

Wednesday, January 15, 2020

When you or your significant other was pregnant, I'm sure you didn't think your life would be like it is today. I'm sure you envisioned all sorts of things with your child, right? Tickle fights in bed, playing sports, having parties with their little friends, going on vacations, hiking, exploring together, etc.

This absolutely isn't the life you planned. But, alas, it's the life you have.

Three photos of a curly haired little girl with blue eyes and a pink shirt, with her red haired mom.

It's important to accept it.

We can always strive for more. We can encourage our children to try out new activities (maybe activities we enjoyed as kids), but it doesn't mean they'll be able to do them. Any of them. It doesn't mean that raising them is going to be anything close to what you imagined.
A young girl in a pink and orange romper, looking sad.
It's really important to accept that.

I'm sure you're aware that holding onto unrealistic expectations, with anything, isn't beneficial to anyone. It's incredibly disappointing and, if those expectations involve your child, it can hurt them.

They can't change their abilities, just as you can't.

Your life is not so easy. Your life consists of your 4 year old screaming, crying, having tantrums, and being violent because they just woke up in that sort of mood.
Your life consists of needing to make the same foods every day, because your child doesn't eat anything else.
Your life consists of appointments. So. Many. Appointments. So many, in fact, you don't have the time to "enjoy" life anymore, because your schedule is entirely swamped with their appointments.
Your life consists of so many tantrums and meltdowns, that you can't even number how many are occurring on a daily basis (even though all the specialists want to have that number), because who can count? This is life.

What are you to do, then?

Three young girls standing together in front of the Magic Kingdom Confection shop.

Accept the life you have.

That doesn't mean it's easy or that it will ever be easy. It doesn't mean that you are in love with every aspect, and don't struggle. It just means that you are accepting of the things you cannot change.

We can absolutely work to help our kids, put them in therapies, and work towards better days. But, the entire time, we need to be accepting what our lives are. Because if we don't, we will constantly be wanting... And that's not good for anyone.

When you are left wanting, you're not appreciating. You aren't focusing on the good moments (and there are plenty) and just enjoying who your little ones are. It's so crucial, as a special needs parent, to be present and accepting.

Our kids have to live in a very un-accepting world, so we need to be the ones that accept them, above all else. We need to accept the life we have with them, and celebrate it, in whatever ways we can.

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