Special Needs Parents, You Deserve To Be Cared For

Thursday, January 2, 2020

I know that 2019 was basically the year of focusing on self-care, and there are jokes about it, but I think it's awesome that we are finally making this a priority. However, so many self-care tips I saw were just kind of... silly. My self-care has nothing to do with doing frivolous activities, I'm sorry. That is a nice treat, but it truly doesn't change my mental state.. despite how bomb it is *laugh*. I need to be cared for in different ways -- and so do you.

Fair skinned woman with dark brown hair, sleeping in a bed with ivory sheets and pillows.

You know, as well as I, that being a special needs parent basically means you are constantly caring for (at least) someone else.. constantly. 
Talk about overwhelming. 
Talk about giving all your spoons. 
Talk about a person who deserves to be cared for, in return!

So, for my second topic to 30 Days To Becoming A Better Special Needs Parent, I want to talk about how you need to be cared for, and how that can help you be a better Special Needs Parent.

Constantly putting all your effort into another person is draining, and you need to be refilled.

So, what does that mean for you?
A red-headed woman laying on her belly, with acupuncture cups on her back.

Maybe your significant other needs to take a day every week to care for you and the child you're always caring for?

Maybe you need to have someone care for your little one, while you go and care for yourself?

Maybe you need to just set time every day, perhaps when your kiddo is asleep, to really pour into yourself?

Maybe you need to sit with someone and just freaking cry. No words. Just sob. You know the kind..

Maybe you need to invest some time/money into therapy, specifically, for your life as a Special Needs Parent.

Have a cry. Have a glass of wine. Play a video game. Meditate. Read the Bible. Whatever you need that makes you feel good... feel cared for. Even if it is only you caring for you. There is no one who knows you better! Take that time to pour into you!!

Whatever it means to you, to feel loved and cared for, do it.

Why do I say all of this? Like I brought up earlier-- constantly caring for someone else is exhausting. Putting all of your energy, resources, time, love, affection, concern, tears, and everything else, is just too much, to not put back into you. And, as I brought out in my last post, doing all of that can affect your parenting mindset.

It can leave you feeling upset & bitter towards one of the last people you would ever want to feel that way towards... your child.

Being cared for can make a world of difference for your mindset/mental state, which helps you put energy and effort back into being a parent.

Feeling good makes you want to help others feel good, right? But we absolutely cannot keep pouring into our children when we feel so drained. It's just not humanely possible.

We need to reset.

We need to be cared for.

And with all that we do for these small humans, we deserve to be cared for.

Show your children how important self-care and self-respect are.

A fair skinned, dark-haired woman lying on her back on a bed with her legs up.

On top of everything else, when our kids see the effort we put into them and ourselves, they learn how they should treat themselves. Our voices become their inner voices. Our actions become the actions that they will one day take.

When we show them the importance of caring for ourselves, we teach them boundaries, self-love, and, hopefully, we teach them what it means to need that for themselves now and in the future.

One of the most common struggles I see amongst the Special Needs adult community, is the struggle of self-care. Whether it's not understanding how to accomplish it, or not understanding how to set boundaries to make sure others are not sucking all the life out of them. If we can manage to teach this to our kids while they are kids, I think, it is one of the greatest gifts we could possibly pass on.

Care for yourself, not only for you, but for the person watching you every day.

Tell me.. What things make you feel the most cared for???

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